Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Parenting Style

  With a world full of, talk shows, parenting magazines, and yes Mommy bloggers, we are bombarded by parenting advice everyday. We are fit into parent labels i.e. helicopter moms, green moms, under-protective, overprotective, hands on , stay at home, working Mommy.....etc. We have come to a point that we are no longer just parents, our goal is no longer simply to raise our children, it is to raise our children in whatever style is in fashion right now.
I no longer want to try to fit myself into one of these categories. I want to view my children as individual human beings who respond to different things in different ways. My goal as a parent is to know my children as people and guide them accordingly. I want to teach them the difference between right and wrong, and by example lead them with good values, and moral standards. I also want to teach them the life lessons, they need to know, but I do not want to do that in some premixed, one size fits all setup. 
 We as people all learn things differently, respond to discipline and responsibility's differently....children are people they do these things to. I want to teach my children about life in a way, that fits with their nature and character. 
 I believe that I will feel less like I am making "Mommy mistakes" or not doing things the "right way" If I stop trying to parent my children by what I read, see on T.V. or observe in other parents around me and focus on parenting in a way that fits my own nature and that of my children. I also believe that this will teach my children to do things in a way that feels natural to them, which will breed self-confidence and individuality in them.Yes there are things in life that you have to do, that might not always be in your nature or character to do but if you know yourself well enough, you can find a way to accomplish them in a way that is "right" for you. Failure should be measured by what we don't do that we are capable of doing, not what we don't do the same way as everyone else.   


  1. I feel the only true child parenting book is the bible. My late FIL always said people would have wonderful lives if they read their bibles. I never fell into that trap of reading the best selling authors etc. Dr. Spock wrote child rearing books. His personal family life was very sad. Too much freedom and too little structure results in prisons being full and schools empty today. Another sad fact of our society. Raising children requires lots of patience and love but good manners and hard work and honest ethics are so much better than the alternative choices the world offers, greed, me, myself and I! and other gimme gimme notions. It is tough but I feel my husband and I did a good job with our five children. Our youngest graduates high school in May and heads to college where three of his siblings are. Our oldest daughter is married with a phamily of her own. Sometime you have to chill,sometime you have to lay down the law! Your kids will be grateful you did when they get older! Good luck!

  2. I agree, and I also believe that God as a Father knows his children, and acts accordingly , he knows which ones need little nudges along the way and which ones of us are a little more hard headed and need a little harder nudging . I know my children were a gift and he picked me to raise them, he knew them before and paired them with me for a reason, that is why I trust my instincts and what I feel my kids need.Thanks for the encouragement it's nice to hear from someone who is farther down the road in
    motherhood and seems to have done a lovely job !

  3. Parenting by using someone else's guidelines are often times big flops. I find all we need is the Bible, God's leadership, and the good common sense He put in us to rear our kiddos properly. All good points!

  4. I had to really fight for my parenting style! But I kept on going, and now I have the neatist children, and they have neat children as well. Listen to your gut, read, learn, and you just can't go wrong!!!

  5. I think that reading about and observing different parenting styles is useful but at the end of the day you have to use your own experience, judgment, intuition, inspiration to sort out what works best for you and your family.

  6. I really enjoyed this thoughtful and thought provoking post.

    Sometimes I think the overload opinions is one of the curses of instant media.

    Everyone wants to tell you what you're doing wrong...when we're all just doing the best we can!

    I love how Anita phrased it in her comment...and it sounds like you use those inspirations to raise your children in the way of your own heart!

    Thanks for linking this.

    It gave me pause for thought.


    1. Thank you Jenny, I love when I read something that makes me pause and think, how wonderful to consider or learn something new. It's a huge encouragement that someone paused and thought about what I said. Parenting is such a hard job and trying We make it so much harder when we don't take time to know our children, and follow our hearts accordingly.

    2. Thank you Jenny, what an encouragement this was to me. I am a reader and love when something makes me pause and think, evaluate or feel for a moment. I do think Anita is right there are many things you can learn from reading and observing different things, kids are always moving into new phases and it is nice to have some insight on ways to deal with these things. I think it is just better to use tips and advice as helping mechanisms rather than yardsticks to measure ourselves against other parents.

    3. Ooops, I feel a little silly thought my first reply didn't post, so I posted another, turns out the computer was just having a moment.