Lovin Is What I Got

So there is this really important guy, we usually call him Natedawg , he is my childhood friend, Bubba's "best homie" , Tinks Daddy, and my Husband.Today is his birthday I want to give him a million presents , but since I can't really afford that, I at least want him to know he is being thought of and that is why I am writing a list of Ten Things I Want My Hubby to Know on His Birthday (and every other day)........

1. You are one of the most forgiving people I have ever meant, you never hold a grudge against me, even when I deserve it.
2. I like that when we are just hanging out on the porch or laying in our bed talking, that I can laugh and be silly, or cry and either way you are right there with me.
3. Nothing in this world makes me happier than when I see you laughing and playing with our boys
4. I appreciate all the little things you do for us everyday, and wish I showed you that more.
5. You love Bubba without question, you are his Daddy , and I know that because you show it in the way you care for him, the same as you do Tink and I.
6. I love days when you make big dinner's and invite friends and family over to share them with us.
7. I am proud of you for wanting to get an education and sticking with it no matter how hard it has been, because you want to take care of us.
8. Our boys get to have a Daddy who is involved in their everyday life, and does not look at them as Mommy's job and that is an extraordinary thing to have. 
9. I'm thankful that you never gave up on me even though their was 20 years in between our first kiss and our second.
10. You are Loved !!!!!!!!!

FAQ's

If I like to stare at strangers
Long enough to figure something
Out about them
Does that make me intrusive ?

If country music makes me cry so
I turn it up and sing along
When I'm alone in my car
Would you say I am unstable ?

If people love me
But I don't understand why
Am I unworthy ?

I can't read your fortune
Or play the guitar
Would you like to be with someone more interesting ?

I can tell you I believe in God
From my corner bar stool
Where they are serving me my regular
Do you see me as a hypocrite ?

If I let you
Take care of me
Am I setting back the woman's movement ?

If I would rather read a book
Than have to wash my hair
And come to your party
Would you diagnose me with social anxiety disorder

If I want more
Does that make me motivated or ungrateful in your eyes ?

I don't know what they are talking about 75% of the time
When I watch CNN
Would you like to move on to someone more intelligent ?

Sometimes when I smile at people
I do it more to make them feel good
Then I do because I actually feel like smiling
Does this make me a fake ?

If I feel like I have a lot to say but I don't say it
Am I depriving you or saving you from my rambling ?

Gaining Focus

So right now all the boxes and clutter of the new house is consuming my mind and sending me into some manic, o.c.d like craziness, that is not pretty whatsoever. I know that it is very important that I get things organized, so that we can have some resemblance of a normal routine life again, but these things will come and in the meantime I am losing focus on what is truly and long term important to me, so I have decided to make a bring me back to my center list............

• First and foremost it is important to me that my kids always feel loved, listened to , and like a part of whatever is happening in our home.
• It is also important to me that both my kids have individual time with me, where we are learning, playing, or just being together without distraction .
• It is important to me that my husband and I talk about or lives, our plans, our kids and try to make common goals for each of these things.
• It is important for me that our home be a place people know they can go and feel comfortable, loved, and welcome.
• It is important to me that my kids learn to be grateful for what we have, and learn to always give thanks for it.

Just thinking about what is really important, in the grand scheme of things can make some of the things that have  been consuming my mind and actions seem pretty little in comparison. I know they are things that have to get done, but I also know that if I look at this list of what is really important everyday before I start my daily mania, everything has to be just right, right now tirade, my day will be planned very differently.

Top Ten Things I Wish I Could Say (while still being truthful)

In no particular order...........

1. Oh your kid is having a meltdown, what's that like, I'm not familiar with this experience.

2. I tend to wash , fold and put away our clothes three times a day, in fact we don't even own a dirty clothes hamper cause we really have no use for it.

3. My son has never missed the bus, we are always up before the alarm goes off, we usually have plenty of time to get ready for our day, and then have a nice leisurely home cooked breakfast before the bus driver pulls up.

4. My husband and I spent some very nice quality time with each other last night after the kids went to bed. We  were not up all night scrubbing throw-up out of our toddlers carpet, blanket, toys, or hair.

5.  My Java Monster is not only cheap but completely fat free, it's actually better for me than drinking water.

6.  Really.... huh, they charge fines at the library for not bringing stuff back on time......I was not aware.

7.  Hi it's nice to meet you, my name is Judy...Judy Blume

8. No I don't have a system, organization and time management just seem to come very naturally for me.

9. I read a very interesting article about people living below the poverty line, man I don't know how they ever survive.

10. Denial is a total waste of time, that is why I stay totally grounded in reality at all times.

Ain't Nobody Happy

I have officially managed to take the old saying "If Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy" and turn in to a working theory. You see, I tend to get a little well ....... I guess we will call it frustrated, when I can't get things right. This morning everything was moving along just fine, there was even laughing and teasing, and the usual Sunday relaxation . I got on to the computer and started trying to tweak a few things for this here little blog , couldn't really get it to do what I wanted it to do, and started getting a little frustrated, but was still ok. I was taking a break from the whole tweaking of the blog thing , trying to ward off said frustration, so I decided to check my e-mail and what did I find, a review of my blog, now don't get me wrong there was good things, but of course, that is not what this post is about or what I in my already defeated frustrated state of mind focused on. So what is any reasonable woman who can't seem to get something on the computer right to do, oh yeah that's right, spread the grumpiness around a bit. Me being a reasonable woman, this is exactly what I did, I got snotty with the hubby and became less happy go lucky Sunday Mom with the kids. Needless to say it did not help me come up with a solution to my blog tweaking issues . So now I am still frustrated with this computer, and instead of walking away from it and joing in on my family laughter and teasing, I have managed to completely squash out the good moods, that is about the only successful thing I've managed all day . I now need to change my attitude because, I would like to have a happy day and according to the saying, the happiness around here is riding on me (I feel no pressure really none at all). Off to my trend setting wish me luck !

Little things that make me happy (My Tuesday top ten)

I Love Womans World ! Even though it's only like 2 bucks it's always exciting when my Hubby brings me one home from the grocery store. It shows he's thinking of me , and I get good articles, plus a crossword, oh yea !

Best show ever, I'm pretty sure I've seen every episode like 50 times !

If you like trivia , you gotta check this out !

 * side-note: While googling an image for this I found out that it is also a magazine, can't wait to see what that's all about.

Notebooks yes, your not seeing wrong, I love them, there is just so many possibilities for a fresh new blank notebook. I could spend countless hours in the office supply section of the store, notebooks, folders,post-its   oh my (my secret is officially out I'm a huge dork).

Madea........ Hallelujaher !

There is nothing better than coming home and putting on slippers : )

I have wasted many perfectly good hours playing Mall World (and plan on wasting many more).

Big ones, little ones, one's that make me smarter, one's that are just a good story, old ones, new ones, Books,Books,Books !

Make up, I don't wear it often , but when I do it makes me feel pretty. (and when I have make up on it usually means I'm going somewhere,yea I love getting out sometimes).

This Jason Mraz song, makes me wanna dance no matter what kinda mood I'm in.

So there ya have it folks my Tuesday top ten, it was lots of fun, think I'll do it again next week. If you wanna link up your own top ten head over to .....

An Insiders view

My brain is a very cluttered place to be (no I'm not bragging about how smart I am), it is a constant clutter, swirlie mix up of things I want to do, and things I need to do, and trying to find ways to merge the two. So here is a condensed down blogger friendly view of what is going through my head all the time..........

• Oh I need to get some table time work ready for Bubba, oh yea and some picture schedules, and call his   insurance people and ask about that one thing, oh and I really need to do some research on how to dispute his current I.E.P. .
• I want to play with all that new crafty stuff I got for me and Isaiah to play with last night
• I want to write on my blog, read other peoples blogs, and maybe stop by Pinterest and find a whole bunch of other things I want to do
• Ugghhh go in there and wash those dishes
• Spend some time with my husband (time that we actually talk and hang out, not the usual, he is studying and watching T.V. and I am doing something on the computer or for one of the boys
• Wait I just remembered I wanted to call my Mom and tell her about that cute thing Isaiah did earlier, and about how good Joey did at school today.
• I really want to call Melissa (my BFF) and make a date
• Wait I have to feed those boys again (3 times a day really boys, now your just being spoiled) 
• Bubba needs a shower, Isaiah needs a bath and his fingernails cut
• I told Joey I would help him clean his room, I should rearrange his furniture while I'm in there
• Man I've had to pee for an hour, speaking of pee, I should be encouraging Isaiah to sit on his potty more
• I should work on some of my blogging stuff while they nap, or get some housework done while they are napping or hang out with my Hubby without them for a while 
• Is the electric bill due today ? I will look it up....oh there is a new article from the Autism Society , and 500 links to other things I wanted to read about, I should check my FB while I'm on here

Does your brain look anything like this ? If it does you either have some serious ADD issues or you are a Mom, who also happens to be a wife, who also happens to have friends, and were not hatched from an egg so (if you are as fortunate as I am, and I hope you are) you have a Mom , Dad, Siblings and lots of other family you care about and are in your everyday thoughts. How do you balance this all out ? How do you keep your brain from exploding (in which case you would have to think about how you would clean up the brain mess from your walls and floor)? I need to figure this out, which is overwhelming a bit cause that will add to the swirl in my cranium at least till I perfect the art of growing 6 more brains 20 more hands, and 15 more hours in my day........Oh wait I need to put a load of laundry in, before Joey gets off the bus.............

PS. I'm very sorry if you were mislead into thinking this post would end with some awesome idea on how to achieve balance in your life. I wanted it to I really did, but yea I got nothin, I'll throw it in the swirl and let you know if anything comes up.

When my Blog Grows Up

 When my blog "grows up" I want it to be a place women go when they need the comfort or humor , you can only get from another woman, Mom, wife.
  I just started reading blogs about a year and a half ago, and by total accident, I just googled homemade presents and found about a million different blogs, that I could not stop reading. The one that really sticks out in my head though is called I'm a lazy Mom and it was not a crafty tip like site, I just sort of stumbled upon it. During that time in my life, things were very out of sorts, I was still going through allot of  postpartum depression from having my Tink, and just in general not feeling like myself, or a good Mom. I didn't have allot of women in my life at the time who could really sympathize with this situation, and was feeling very lonely.
  With the risk of sounding corny or stalkerish , Lazy Mom whom I had never meant or even had a conversation with helped me feel less lonely, and helped me to get my confidence as a Mom back. The stories on her blogs were just very real, and hilarious. I had been looking at all these blogs with these seemingly supermom, super organized, and crafty women and was feeling even less inadequate than I was already feeling, so when I came across Lazy Mom who actually admitted to having laundry that piles up and a life that is not strait out of Better Homes and Gardens it was a definite blessing disguised as a blog. I have since found other like minded Mamma's but Lazy Mom will always be the comfort food of my blogging world.

 I hope when my blog "grows up" that it will be a place a Mom can go to take a deep breath, and go away feeling like a more confident Mom , who want's to enjoy her kids more, and worry about her mounting laundry less. When women read my Blog, I want them to feel like they just sat down at my kitchen table, right in the middle of  all of my chaos, and had that cup of coffee with a friend that they have been needing.

PS. Lazy Mom is not really lazy to find out more check her out at http://www.imalazymom.com/

Have you thought about what goals you have for your blog ?

Can I have this Dance ?

 Do you dance with your kids, your husband , your best friend ? Do you dance in your kitchen, or while getting your kids ready for school ? If you answered no to any or all of these..........stop reading this now and go dance (don't forget to come back when the dancing is over, I'll wait ).

True Love (in a can)

There are many things I love in this world, like my my children, husband, blah, blah, etc......But this super special thing, that really gets me every time is my Java Monster !